UPDATE: Due to some kind of feed error, this post is showing up for some people a week late. SPX was the weekend of Sept 10-11, and the game testing was Sept 13-14. We’ll do more gaming events soon! All the other info is correct.

This weekend Matt and I are at the Small Press Expo in Bethesda, Maryland, along with nearly a dozen of the Machine of Death artists! We’ll be signing books, administering free prediction tests, and offering — for the very first time — Official MOD Game Card Decks.

Recently we mentioned we were working on a Machine of Death card game. This is a bit of a simplification — it’s only true if you consider a deck of Hoyle cards to be a “card game.” What we have created, instead, is a series of card-based game kits.

When I first printed up the Machine of Death prediction cards, I only expected that an average person might encounter the cards singly — you might get one with an order from TopatoCo, or maybe you sent away for one by mail (offer still valid!), or perhaps you had a prediction test performed in person by us.

But when I picked up the order from the printer, and fanned out all the different cards to look them over…it felt an awful lot like I was holding a deck of playing cards.

Start with the cards, figure out the game

So our crack team started brainstorming. What kinds of games would be possible with a deck of death prediction cards? Guessing games were an easy first stop — we’ve now played Celebrity Cartoonist Draw & Guess many times, and it’s always a treat. (For example, in Toronto!)

But a deck of prediction cards isn’t a game in the way that Uno is a game, or Apples to Apples is a game, or Magic: The Gathering is a game. There are no inherent rules or logic to the cards; they’re just inert items, props waiting to be imbued with meaning. A stack of prediction cards is like a deck of regular playing cards, or a set of dice, or poker chips: tools.

This is incredibly exciting, because it suggests that there isn’t a “Machine of Death card game.” What there could be is an entire Machine of Death dimension of games. And we’re really, really excited to tap the collective gaming consciousness to see how many fun and amazing things sufficiently creative people (like us, and you, and everyone reading this) can do with a simple set of MOD prediction cards.

Here’s what we’ve done to get started

• We’ve designed and printed four decks of prediction cards. “Set A” and “Set B” are each collections of 50 cards each, with general predictions ranging from “OLD AGE” to “SAWBLADE” to “HUBRIS” to “SKIN FALLS OFF.” In addition, we have created four themed sets (“Pirate”, “Adventure”, “Space”, and “Noir”) of 25 cards each, and packaged them in pairs. So these are two more 50-card decks, each containing two sets of 25 themed cards. Each deck comes packaged in a sturdy tin for easy transport.

• Every death on every card has been given unique attributes: Drawability (a difficulty handicap for games like Draw & Guess), Likelihood, Painfulness, and Epicness. Since these attribute values vary from card to card, they may be used in gameplay.

• Every deck also comes with five blank cards (identical backs to the other cards, but unprinted fronts). These cards may be used as wild cards, or may be customized by the user into unique deaths, or even some entirely different type of card! Also available will be a complete set of 50 blank cards, to allow players to do more extensive customization.

• So far, we’ve devised a list of around 15 games that we’re currently play-testing. Some are simple adaptations of existing games (such as Draw & Guess). Other game types that the cards lend themselves to are memory games, storytelling games, debate games, and (using two identical decks) matching games. Not all the ideas are ready for prime time just yet; many will require further testing. But we’ve set up machineofdeath.net/games as a sort of Master Rulebook, to share the rules for the games we think are great so far — and we’ll be adding more new rulesets there as our testing continues.

Existing games + MOD cards = YES

• We also want to encourage you to play around with the MOD cards on their own. If you come up with a cool game mechanic, let us know! We now have an army of play-testers at our disposal, and we’d love nothing more than to create a huge repository of new, fun games crafted and refined by the MOD community — you are the most creative bunch of people around. (We know — we’re reading all your stories!)

• We also think there’s totally potential for MOD cards to be used in a role-playing context, or as part of a more elaborate combat-type game that might require the creation of more classes of cards or other additional material. These are advanced ideas that we’re hoping to workshop over time (and we’d love to hear your ideas too). We encourage you to add MOD cards to your existing gaming and see if they can add a new dimension anywhere. There is no game, from Solitaire to Settlers of Catan, that couldn’t be deliciously upgraded with the judicious addition of infallible death-predicting technology!

Hitman on a Budget

I want to make a special mention of a game that I created called “Hitman on a Budget.” It’s a dice-based role-playing game that I’ve tested a few times now, and it’s super fun with a group of about four to six people. One player gets to be a sort of game leader (the “Bureau Chief”) while the other players are hitmen competing to kill targets revealed by drawing random death cards. I’ve posted the full rules on the Rulebook — and the great thing is, you can play it right now! Because it’s a storytelling-based game, the cards are just there to add an element of randomness…but the Bureau Chief can just as easily choose deaths from her imagination, or use random dictionary words. All you need is a pair of dice (or a dice app!) and some friends, and you’re set. Let me know if you find it fun!

Okay give me these cards already

As I mentioned at the top, we’ll be selling card decks at the Small Press Expo this weekend, and we’re planning to put them up online later this month.

Game testers who have already applied through our form will be contacted by September 16 if we decide to use you for this testing round.

We’ll also be holding some local play-testing events in Los Angeles throughout the month of September (at the MOD West LA World Headquarters). The first two will be Tuesday, September 13 and Wednesday, September 14 from 8:00 – 10:00 PM. If you’d like to come, please RSVP to either by leaving a comment on this post! We’ll email you with further details. Each event will be limited to 8 people. Feel free to RSVP to both if you know you can make it to both! But please only RSVP if you’re sure you can make it. We’ll have pizza and play some games!

A challenge to leave you with

It wouldn’t be Machine of Death if we didn’t leave you with a new challenge, right?

Of course you know that you can get individual, personal death prediction cards by mail, just by sending in a self-addressed stamped envelope. Robynne has been detailing many of the cool things you’ve sent in, and in fact there’s so much cool stuff here in the office now — much more than we could ever blog about — that she’s now working on creating a Flickr set to show it all off. More on that later on.

Like I said, I know you guys are creative. So here’s what I’d like you to do:

Create a custom death prediction card, and send it to us.

It should be the size of a standard US business card — 3.5 x 2″. It should be no heavier than thick cardstock. It can say whatever you like on it, and look however you choose, but somewhere on the card it must include the words:

WINNER! #___ machineofdeath.net/prize

And leave a blank for us to hand-write in a number.

Here’s what we’ll do. We’ll take photos of, and blog about, all the cool cards we receive. Then we will insert them randomly into MOD card decks for other people to find. If someone finds your card in their deck, we’ll give them a prize.

Send your finished death prediction card to:

Machine of Death Custom Card
2554 Lincoln Blvd #214
Venice CA 90291

If you include a SASE, we’ll send you back a li’l thank-you too. Start working right away, because we want to start shipping these decks this month! Leave a comment if you have any questions!

Now…go play “Hitman on a Budget”!

“I can’t believe there wasn’t one entry about me.”

Thanks for entering our Fanfic Flash Fic micro-contest! The little stories were very fun to read.

Here are our favorite entries, organized by theme. Each 55-word story takes place in an existing pop-culture, historical, or literary universe.

Comic Strips

TIGER – Nicole Kalstein
     When he opened the envelope, the slip of paper screamed, “TIGER.” His heart sank as fear and suspicion bubbled up slowly, a toxic swamp in his stomach. Sure, the prediction didn’t indicate any specific tiger, much less his tiger friend, but Calvin was suddenly aware that he would never have a peaceful night’s sleep again.

UNTITLED DINOSAUR COMICS STORY – Eli Rose
     2000+ comics, and they haven’t gotten him yet.
     He’d thought the prediction was ridiculous. But then they started appearing. Always in the fourth stage of his conversations, always in pink sweaters. He stomped the first one fearfully, instinctively. Now it’s routine.
     He’s conquered death.
     Later, the Louisa May Alcott novel hits him at 3,000 m/s.

UNTITLED DINOSAUR COMICS STORY – Rodrigo Ortiz Vinholo
     It didn’t matter what the slip said, it was too unreal. Too ridiculous. Jenny just couldn’t believe it. Even when it appeared on the TV, bright and green, it looked like something out of Saturday morning cartoons, even destroying houses, killing people. Now, as the creature’s foot loomed ominously over her, it felt vaguely familiar.

DEPRESSION – Nathan Kitler
     Life had always been rough for Charles, but this last week took the cake. First his kite got him struck by lightning; then his dog died. Holding the slip of paper in his hand, he walked past adults with voices like muted trombones. Charles read the single word to himself: “depression.” Good grief, he thought.

Literature

SUFFOCATION – David Hilder
The paper’s “Suffocation” would not make him shriek nor weep nor swoon.
The Captain of the Pinafore, he showed no fear — it was a boon
To know that at his time of death he’d simply be deprived of breath.
Not looking, he slipped off the deck, and, oh, my stars, he drowned too soon.

REVENGE – Laura Breitenbeck
     The captain’s bone leg thumps the deck in sea-time. Thump. Grips his white paper, chews the word and paces. He’ll get what he’s after? Aye, and drag us all down, like as not. Thump. Thump. Death glimmers in the sea’s dark. White weight in the great black belly of the earth, named and marked: Revenge.

FOR LOVE – Jen T.
     When his name was called, Sydney Carton stumbled forward and submitted his finger to the Machine’s prick. He hoped the presence of alcohol wouldn’t interfere with his prediction, reeking of whiskey as he did. The Machine buzzed and deposited a slip into his hand.
     For Love, he read aloud. Mr. Carton brightened, and sobered immediately.

Sitcoms and Cartoons

CAR – John Chernega
     “This prediction says DUE .”
     Carl froze. “How’d he die?”
     “Shootout, Mr. Winslow. Our machine said DUEL,” said Neil.
     “We’ve never had any other inconsistencies,” Harriette confirmed.
     “So it’s only incorrect with four-letter deaths ending in L?” Neil goggled.
     “Sounds like tampering,” said Harriette. “Hey, didn’t Steve use it before his accident, Carl?”
     Carl was gone.

CANNON – Tucker Cummings
     Maude never told Ned about the night she got her prediction. She knew he wouldn’t approve. Death prediction might have been a science, but it was still too much like witchcraft. And the Bible’s position on such things was very clear.
     Besides, she didn’t expect to be near a cannon anytime soon. Not in Springfield.

INVITATIONS – Jonathan Dillion
     Susan pondered George’s assertions — hours trying to convince her. Naturally, the word surfaced. The secret luxury of knowing, due to wealth, never ceased being a curse. A confusion. Getting fired had helped. So had a newfound lifestyle and eventual desertion.
     George. Barely three friends. Detestable. Safe. She would say “yes.” No more worries about Invitations.

THAT CRAZY THING – Axel Arth
     “Well Dad, what’s it say?”
     “I think you need to take over walking Astro from now on, Elroy.”
     “But Dad — ”
     Shock setting in, George waved his children out of the room, and Jane moved closer.
     “George?”
     Silently, he handed her the freshly printed slip of paper.
     It was only three words long. THAT CRAZY THING.

Superheroes

UNTITLED SUPERMAN STORY – Carl Poffley
     “We’ve got the machine’s predictions in!” Perry White said to the Daily Planet staff, holding the results aloft.
     They clamoured around him curiously as he slowly flipped through them, until one suddenly piqued his interest. Realisation flashed across his face.
     “Clark,” he said, “could you take your glasses off for a second…”

BATMAN – Tracy Canfield
     “I always knew that only you could kill me,” said the Joker. “Just regretted I wouldn’t be around to enjoy Gotham City’s reaction. But when I show them this…”
     He slapped the prediction down. BATMAN, it said.
     “The Machine doesn’t use purple crayon,” said Batman.
     The Joker sighed. “You really are the world’s greatest detective.”

CHILL – Peter Bloem
     “It’s just a silly trick, Bruce. I regret ever taking the test.”
     “But what could it mean… CHILL?”
     “If we knew that, it wouldn’t work. What it tells you is that your father’s an idiot. Your mother’s the smart one.”
     Martha Wayne bites her lips, and puts on her pearls. “We’re going to be late.”

Science Fiction

CLEVER GIRL – Jim Warrenfeltz
     Robert Muldoon got his results young, and feared them.
     He avoided anything associated with his results. Bars, colleges, and especially college bars. He was a confirmed bachelor.
     When the experts arrived on Isla Nublar, it happened that “Dr. Sattler” was a woman. A smart woman. This worried him.
     Unfortunately, that’s not what “CLEVER GIRL” meant.

CANCER – Kevin Anderson
     Dr. Silberman somehow managed to remain genial and smiling. “So you see, Miss Connor, there’s nothing to worry about. No horrible nuclear holocaust, no bullet from one of those big bad deranged killer cyborgs. You’ll have a perfectly normal death from cancer. Would you please not stab me in the knee again?”

UNTITLED STAR TREK STORY WRITTEN IN KLINGON – Tracy Canfield
     “reH lugh Hegh jan,” jatlh matHa’. “<<Hargh quv>> jatlhchugh navlIj, Hargh quvmo’ bIHegh. navvetlh vIHevchugh, jIHem. toQDuj tlhoy’Daq Dochvetlh’e’ vIHuS.”
     mon la’. “‘ach chaq jaghlI’vaD quv Harghvam, SoHvaD quvHa’.”
     “bISov DaneHbe’a’?”
     “ghobe’!” jach la’. “DIch SaHbe’ SuvwI’. batlh ‘oH Doch’e’ neHbogh. jISuvnIS, jIHeghnIS, ‘ach SanwIj vISovnISbe’.”
     jIH chu’Ha’ la’. nav laDqa’. <<choljaH>>, jatlh. ro’Daj SoQqu’moH.

IMPALED BY HUNGRY TONGUE – Nik Houser
     Even when Parker won the pool with IMPALED BY HUNGRY TONGUE, Brett declined to share his results.
     “Aw, he’s just jealous,” Brett grinned. “Nobody’s got a card sexier than IMPALED BY HUNGRY TONGUE.”
     Have your moment, Parker mused, his thoughts straying to his own pre-flight test. What could it mean?
     FACEHUGGER
     It sounded so sexy.

History

CRUCIFIXION – Michael Williams
     The contraption was from somewhere east, beyond the provinces: clanking brass pipes, rattling wood frame and a slim slip of flattened reed with tiny text inked in three languages. Everyone stared at it, then at Josh, then at one another.
     “Maybe if I’m just really…nice to everyone? Maybe then it won’t happen?”
     Judas snorted.

ASSASSINATED BY TIME TRAVELER – Brigid Cassin
     The scientist shuddered in fear. “We’ve tested it countless times, mein Fuhrer. I do not understand the problem.”
     “Das ist doch Scheiße!” the Fuhrer shouted. “Rubbish! Impossible! The most ridiculous thing I have ever read!”
     He shoved the slip of paper into the scientist’s trembling hand. In bold letters, it read “assassinated by time traveler.”

Other

UNTITLED ZELDA STORY – Nathaniel Forsythe
     Lounging atop Hyrule castle, Ganon consulted again the strange scrap of parchment, then looked over his evil to-do list.
     “Triforce — acquired.”
     “Princess Zelda — kidnapped.”
     “Master Sword — hidden in unsolvable forest maze.”
     “Sausages — banned forever.”
     “Golf courses — burned.”
     He paused, in piggish thought. “Should I clear my browser history?”
     Ganon vowed to watch what he clicked.

ORANGES – Andy Jordan
     Vito Corleone ran his eyes down the list and frowned.
     “And you really expect me to believe this?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at the man sitting before his desk.
     “Don Corleone, it’s what the machine said. I can’t explain it.”
     “Oranges?” Corleone said. “Half my men are going to die because of oranges?”

“VEGETABLES,” by Chris Cox.
Read by Todd Croak-Falen. (16 min)

“The bloke’s a fuckin’ whack job.”

Billy, the Director of Marketing, tells me this while he’s picking his nose with a paperclip. “He wasn’t right to start with; he’s the last bastard who should’ve got that blood test. He’s been treading water all his life, but he’s sinkin’ now.”

He straightens the paperclip, then slides it between his thumb and finger to squeegee the snot off. Unimpeded by my Ugh face, he wipes his fingers on the fabric of my cubicle wall. In the background a phone has been ringing for five minutes without kicking into voicemail, and in the next cube, somebody’s screaming at a subordinate employee on another line. I want to kill them all and dance to the sounds of their suffering through the junkyard of smashed computers and office plants and overturned desks.

Download the MP3 • Subscribe on iTunes
Direct podcast feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/machineofpodcast

Chris Cox loves dark humor, funky slap bass, jazz fusion and single malt Scotch. Tastes include The Wasp Factory, Harold & Maude, Waking Ned Devine, and addictions include Magnus Mills, Kurt Vonnegut, Danny Boyle, the Borg, the Wraith and Q. He’s a writer and geek, usually working on novels, and quiet, polite global domination. He lives in Providence with his wife, and an abundance of books, films, music, mountain bikes, tennis rackets and strange ideas. Outside this stuff, Chris is an Aerospace Quality Analyst and an Information Science student. His non-fiction work can be read at theunderstatement.org, and he can be reached at: chriscox at gmx.com.

Todd Croak-Falen is an author and screenwriter. He is a graduate of Chapman University, where he won the Cinetech Most Promising Filmmaker Award, and shared a Best Picture Cecil Award with David Malki for the film Accusation. He the author of several screenplays and one novel, Catch Up To Myself. Most recently, he produced and co-wrote (with David Malki) the film Expendable.

In the book, “VEGETABLES” is illustrated by Kevin McShane. This podcast episode was edited by Matt Schwartz.

“TORN APART AND DEVOURED BY LIONS,” by Jeffrey Wells.
Read by Jesse Thorn. (28 min)

“Missus Murphy, I will have you know that I am to be torn apart and devoured by lions.”

Simon Pfennig was fully aware of how strange he must sound.

He had no choice. It was too exciting not to share.

Eventually, the silence on the other end of the line was broken. “…Excuse me?” Mrs. Murphy eventually managed.

“I,” said Simon, “am to be torn apart and devoured by lions.”

“I’m sorry,” said Mrs. Murphy. “Weren’t you just talking to me about insurance a moment ago?”

“I was,” said Simon. “Now I’m talking about lions.”

Download the MP3 • Subscribe on iTunes
Direct podcast feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/machineofpodcast

Jeffrey C. Wells is the co-creator of the award-winning webcomic “Skin Horse”, found online at skin-horse.com. He himself has also won awards, but they were for things like “Worst Opening Line of a Science Fiction Story”, so if you want to award him with things so he no longer feels inferior to his own webcomic, that would be great. He lives in the wilds of rural Wisconsin with a wonderful spouse, a dial-up modem, and more pets than you can shake a stick at.

Jesse Thorn is the host and producer of the radio show and podcast The Sound of Young America, distributed by Public Radio International. He also hosts the podcasts Judge John Hodgman and Jordan, Jesse, Go!, the webseries Put This On, and the IFC television program The Grid.

In the book, “TORN APART AND DEVOURED BY LIONS” is illustrated by Christopher Hastings.

This film is really great. I’m in it (at least a character with my name is, and he has an incredibly plausible prediction for me) so I may be a bit biased, but it’s a lot of fun and kinda creepy. Recommend! Why not watch it RIGHT NOW (or at lunch, in case you don’t have time right now, WE UNDERSTAND).