Podcast Episodes 02 Sep 2011 06:21 pm by David !
Podcast 21: VEGETABLES, by Chris Cox
“VEGETABLES,” by Chris Cox.
Read by Todd Croak-Falen. (16 min)
“The bloke’s a fuckin’ whack job.”
Billy, the Director of Marketing, tells me this while he’s picking his nose with a paperclip. “He wasn’t right to start with; he’s the last bastard who should’ve got that blood test. He’s been treading water all his life, but he’s sinkin’ now.”
He straightens the paperclip, then slides it between his thumb and finger to squeegee the snot off. Unimpeded by my Ugh face, he wipes his fingers on the fabric of my cubicle wall. In the background a phone has been ringing for five minutes without kicking into voicemail, and in the next cube, somebody’s screaming at a subordinate employee on another line. I want to kill them all and dance to the sounds of their suffering through the junkyard of smashed computers and office plants and overturned desks.
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Chris Cox loves dark humor, funky slap bass, jazz fusion and single malt Scotch. Tastes include The Wasp Factory, Harold & Maude, Waking Ned Devine, and addictions include Magnus Mills, Kurt Vonnegut, Danny Boyle, the Borg, the Wraith and Q. He’s a writer and geek, usually working on novels, and quiet, polite global domination. He lives in Providence with his wife, and an abundance of books, films, music, mountain bikes, tennis rackets and strange ideas. Outside this stuff, Chris is an Aerospace Quality Analyst and an Information Science student. His non-fiction work can be read at theunderstatement.org, and he can be reached at: chriscox at gmx.com.
Todd Croak-Falen is an author and screenwriter. He is a graduate of Chapman University, where he won the Cinetech Most Promising Filmmaker Award, and shared a Best Picture Cecil Award with David Malki for the film Accusation. He the author of several screenplays and one novel, Catch Up To Myself. Most recently, he produced and co-wrote (with David Malki) the film Expendable.
In the book, “VEGETABLES” is illustrated by Kevin McShane. This podcast episode was edited by Matt Schwartz.