Taking Ryan North’s Dinosaur Comics and turning them into new and exciting projects is a time-honored tradition. Ryan does it every weekday! It’s also how Machine of Death started, as you may know.

One fan-created Dinosaur Comics remix arrived in our mailbox as part of our mail-order Death Prediction program.

First, let’s look at the accompanying letter:

Hello, MOD Inc. or whatever you guys like to call yourselves! I discovered Machine of Death yesterday & have been tearing through stories like crazy. After much philosophical debate with my friends (debate that consisted primarily of everyone saying DO IT DO IT DO IT), I’ve decided to “get my finger pricked” and find out how I’m going to die.

My enclosed payment is a Dinosaur Comic I wrote for my boyfriend, Jordan, for Valentine’s Day. He’d gotten me a giant Squishable T-Rex for my birthday two weeks earlier, which I now cuddle with every night when I go to bed. I tried to determine how T-Rex would interpret such affection & went from there. I hope the comic does not make Ryan North cry.

Thank you all for making stuff like Machine of Death possible & for making my life & the lives of my friends a little more entertaining. I look forward to discovering my fate!


Annica Redmond

Now check out the accompanying comic (click for bigger, or, the transcript is below):

Panel 1

T-Rex: Jordan Keagle! I must share some bad news with you, my friend…well, actually it is bad news for you, but very good news for me.

Panel 2

T-Rex: I have usurped your place in Annica’s heart!

Panel 3

T-Rex: She thought you were fine, you see, until I came along. Now we snuggle in her bed every night. And she shared her birthday cake with me. And she hugs me every time she enters the room.

Dromiceiomimus: T-Rex, I don’t think…

T-Rex: Snuggles, birthday cake and hugs, Dromiceiomimus! If that is not love, I do not know what is!

Panel 4

Utahraptor: T-Rex, I think you are both reading too far into Annica’s actions towards you & perhaps intentionally failing to see her actions towards Jordan. Yes, she hugs you & snuggles you, but so does everyone else who sees you, mostly because you are very soft & fat.

T-Rex: *GASP*

Panel 5

T-Rex: You mean–you mean Annica has just been using me for my body this whole time?!

Utahraptor: I never said–

T-Rex: And she ACTUALLY loves Jordan! The snuggles were lies! THE CAKE WAS A LIE! It seems I have been misreading her signals this whole time, Utahraptor! All her REALLY meaningful affection goes to Jordan!

Panel 6

T-Rex: Plus… plus also she kisses Jordan and that is a strong sign too.

Thank you for sending us this comic! I hope Jordan appreciated it as much as we do.