“PRISON KNIFE FIGHT,” by Shaenon K. Garrity. Read by Dave Kellett.

Very expensive nanny. Very expensive tutor. Montessori nursery school priced competitively with Yale. Phonics, piano lessons from age four, one edifying vacation in a major European city per year, a diet of both organic and local produce cooked to order from a menu drawn up by a personal nutrition coach, and a white-noise machine. A portfolio of coloring-book samples. What was missing?  Oh, yes…

Mr. Slocombe peered over the thick sheaf of paperwork.  “We’ll have to see his medical records, of course.”

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Shaenon K. Garrity is the creator of the daily webstrips “Narbonic” and “Skin Horse” (the latter co-written with fellow contributor Jeffrey Wells), as well as many other comics both on- and offline. She occasionally writes scripts for Marvel Comics, a disproportionate number of which involve department-store Santas. She also works as a freelance manga editor for VIZ Media and teaches at the Academy of Art in San Francisco. She lives in Berkeley with her husband, Andrew Farago, and their neurotic cat Tesla.

Dave Kellett is the creator of the comic strips “Sheldon” and “Drive”. More of his voice can be heard on the podcast Webcomics Weekly.

In the book, “Prison Knife Fight” is illustrated by Roger Langridge!