“ALMOND,” by John Chernega. Read by Kevin McShane.

I’m tired of looking at the machine, but there’s nothing else to look at. Maybe it’s supposed to wear down my defenses and get me to take the test, but I’ve made my decision. So I sit and stare at it. My planner is black with the blood of my tormented doodles. There is a brick wall outside my window. What’s on the other side? My guess is that it’s a locker room, and there are dozens of hot naked chicks inside, all with a thing for underpaid lab technicians who could, at the drop of a hat, tell them how they’re going to die.

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John Chernega lives in southern Minnesota with his wife and sons. Aside from a few corporate catalogs, “Almond” is his first published work. He keeps a nondescript business card on his nightstand that says “Clumsy Hippopotamus”, but he refuses to divulge whether it’s from a machine of death, or if he’s been moonlighting as a clumsy hippopotamus.

Kevin McShane is a cartoonist, designer, actor, filmmaker, writer, photographer, and a dozen other things that won’t impress you either. He can be found digitally at kevinmcshane.org. See Kevin perform with the improv-comedy team Trophy Wife, or hear more of his melodious voice on select episodes of Tweet Me Harder.

In the book, “Almond” is illustrated by Paul Horn!