So far we’ve received lots of death prediction requests. Any time a large volume of mail comes in, there’s a decent chance that something is going to arrive damaged.

In this case, the damage was cause by some sort of shenanigans going on at the post office. I don’t know what they get up to there, but apparently on very rare occasions it destroys pieces of mail. The post office assured us that, despite all appearances to the contrary, they care about our mail and do all they can to ensure it will arrive safely. They’d put this envelope in a little plastic bag that said so!

This basically says “We handle a lot of mail, so even though we take tons of precautions, sometimes we damage things… Hope you’re not super upset with us, even though you totally have a right to be.”

Okay. So sometimes these things happen. At least the contents of the envelope were pretty much intact.

But… but what’s this?!

Apparently that little red bow is some sort of a traveller’s charm. All the letters that arrived completely unmolested were just ordinary letters, but the one letter that includes some sort of precaution against harm arrived with a hole torn out of the corner. I guess we debunked your superstition! Sorry about that. Didn’t do it on purpose.

And here’s the back of that note, for those of you who are interested:

This case provides a fascinating contradiction. I guess now we know that little red bows cannot be trusted. At least the dinosaurs were not harmed on their journey, so maybe the bow actually worked and if it hadn’t been there they would’ve been shattered. The nifty little creatures arrived just fine, despite whatever terrifying adventure they experienced on the way.

Want to send us something and get your death prediction in return? Statistically, it’s unlikely anything bad will happen to your letter, since we’ve already had a damaged one and that fulfills our quota! (Fun fact: Statistics do not work this way.)

Hello! Robynne again, with some more examples of death prediction requests we’ve received here at MoD HQ. These are some simpler ones, that don’t require as much in the way of commentary.

This person sent in three rubber bands, a fortune-cookie fortune (“A dark haired woman will soon be giving you a gift.” Hey, I’m dark-haired!), and a flyer for what I can only assume is the greatest roller derby league in the whole of St. Louis.

This is a Mickey Mouse sticker.

Hello! I would like a death card, please. In return, I offer this cartoon from the New Yorker.

– Monica

This is T-Rex, carefully drawn onto a piece of fabric. It appears to be a lint-free cloth for cleaning glasses or computer screens. It feels so soft! Could it be…luxurious silk? (Probably not.)

I’ve got to say, this is a pretty sweet collection. Request your own card — let’s see just how awesome and eclectic we can get!

(More cool stuff we’ve received!)

There are about six weeks left until our Volume 2 submissions deadline of July 15. If you haven’t submitted a story yet, here are a few reasons why we think you should consider it!

#1 The challenge: Several writers have told us that writing a Machine of Death story was the most fun they’d had with their word processors in a long time. As editors, we know exactly what they mean. Not only have we personally written more Machine of Death stories than we can print (we can’t help ourselves!), but we’ve seen dozens of examples of how the apparent limits can yield endless possibilities once those creative juices get flowing.

#2 The money: This is about as simple as it gets. It doesn’t cost anything to submit your story or art portfolio. But if you get selected for the book, then you get $200 in cold, hard cash. That’s pretty good!

#3 The exposure: The first book has thousands of readers so far (and more every week!), and is available in bookstores across the U.S. and Canada. Plus many of our contributors got the thrill of seeing their names mentioned in reviews by Strange Horizons, The Onion AV Club, Tor.com, Jeff VanderMeer, and others. Take it from us – this stuff is cool! And though we can’t make any promises, we’re doing everything we can to make the next book even bigger.

#4 The opportunities: This is more than just a book to us! We love this idea so much that we take any chance to push it in new directions. This includes the live show that we had last month in Hollywood, as well as slightly more low-key events (both impromptu and planned) at conventions we attend. And we love it when Machine of Death contributors join us for these events. It’s a great chance to meet some real, live fans who think your work is great!

#5 The unexpected: We hadn’t even imagined half the stuff on this list when we put out the first book last October. But when the book started selling, we decided to run with it as far as we could go. We’re still running today, and we don’t think we’ve reached the end of the surprises yet. But only time will tell what those surprises will be!

Look, at the end of the day, we can’t make any promises about how successful the next book will be, or how many people will read it, or whether it will get turned into a blockbuster movie starring Natalie Portman and Jake Gyllenhaal as hot, young scientists who accidentally change the world. As much as we’d like to, we can’t directly control any of that.

But we do know that the next book is going to be awesome and that it’s going to be a lot of fun to be involved with. We’re all incredibly excited to have this opportunity again and we really hope you’ll join us too! So get to work!

Hello! My name is Robynne. I’ve been helping David ! with some of the requests people have sent in for death prediction cards.

Anyone can get their very own death prediction, for free! And tons of people already have. The only requirement is that you send something in return. If you mail us some small item in trade for the card, and you include a self-addressed stamped envelope, we’ll mail you a death prediction!

Some people have sent in scraps of paper; some have sent in elaborate works of art. Some write long letters; some provide no note of explanation whatsoever. Looking over the eclectic variety of items that has accumulated in this office is terrifically exciting. So David has invited me to write about some of my favorite items that people have sent us in return for their death predictions.

This is a pretty awesome drawing! It’s got tons of details, a lot of action, cool patterns and shapes… I’m glad I got to see it! Many thanks to the artist for sending it in.

This is pretty much exactly the level of thing that is hoped for with these card requests. It’s clever, fun, and simple. A small experience that can brighten one’s day a little bit.

I happen to collect Disney theme park memorabilia. I don’t have one of these buttons, though I’d like one. I know if I had one I would never let it go, ever. I’m quite impressed that somebody out there willingly parted with theirs.

That’s all for now, but there are tons of things remaining that people have sent in that I’m looking forward to sharing with you! Opening all of these letters has been such a fun process!

Keep them coming!

“STARVATION,” by M. Bennardo.
Read by Brian Swanson. (36 min)

Johnny straggled behind Dalton as they came out of the jungle into the clearing. Streaks of fuel burned in the grass, the flames pale and languid in the bright midday sun. But they were still hot and smoky as hell. The smashed chopper was only about twenty yards away, a crumpled aluminum can surrounded by four smoldering lumps of black. The rest of the men. 

Dalton brought the nose of his rifle up and put his finger on the trigger. They hadn’t seen any enemy fire when they had gone down, but it was hard to be sure. And even if the bad guys hadn’t been around before, there was nothing like a crippled chopper to bring them out of cover. “Keep your eyes open,” said Dalton. Johnny just grunted, and drew his knife. It was the only weapon he had anymore.

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M. Bennardo‘s stories have been published in Asimov’s Science Fiction and Strange Horizons, among other markets. He is also one of the co-editors of Machine of Death. He lives in Cleveland, Ohio.

Brian Swanson is one-half of FoxSwan, a comedy karaoke duo based in Burbank, California. He is currently on a mission to sing karaoke with Meat Loaf.

In the book, “STARVATION” is illustrated by Karl Kerschl. This podcast episode was edited by Matthew Schwartz.