Category ArchiveReader Mail

Reader Mail 24 May 2011 06:35 pm by Robynne

Death Prediction Requests Round One

Hello! My name is Robynne. I’ve been helping David ! with some of the requests people have sent in for death prediction cards.

Anyone can get their very own death prediction, for free! And tons of people already have. The only requirement is that you send something in return. If you mail us some small item in trade for the card, and you include a self-addressed stamped envelope, we’ll mail you a death prediction!

Some people have sent in scraps of paper; some have sent in elaborate works of art. Some write long letters; some provide no note of explanation whatsoever. Looking over the eclectic variety of items that has accumulated in this office is terrifically exciting. So David has invited me to write about some of my favorite items that people have sent us in return for their death predictions.

This is a pretty awesome drawing! It’s got tons of details, a lot of action, cool patterns and shapes… I’m glad I got to see it! Many thanks to the artist for sending it in.

This is pretty much exactly the level of thing that is hoped for with these card requests. It’s clever, fun, and simple. A small experience that can brighten one’s day a little bit.

I happen to collect Disney theme park memorabilia. I don’t have one of these buttons, though I’d like one. I know if I had one I would never let it go, ever. I’m quite impressed that somebody out there willingly parted with theirs.

That’s all for now, but there are tons of things remaining that people have sent in that I’m looking forward to sharing with you! Opening all of these letters has been such a fun process!

Keep them coming!

Reader Mail &What is this I don't even 17 Aug 2010 04:24 pm by David !

We have been beaten

what I mean WHAT

Machine of Death contributor Camille Alexa very kindly sent us this in the mail. It appears to be some sort of nozzle-bearing device that will predict your death.

no answers here

I am afraid we have no recourse but to lay down our arms and cede victory to its garish packaging and compact form factor. It is cheaper than our Machine and likely just as accurate.

just further questions

We have looked over this device and examined it from every angle. No explanation, no text, no illustration provides any answers whatsoever — simply more questions. Thanks, Camille. We will sleep uneasily tonight.

p.s. Only the ingredients listed on the back (SDA 38B Peppermint 190-Proof, Deionized Water, Cinnamic Fragrance, Glycerin USP 99.5%, Sodium Saccharin, FD&C Red #40) give any sort of hint whatsoever as to this thing’s true nature, and even then — now that we’ve learned that this is a substance to be ingested — it seems more sinister even than before.

Full transcription of the text is after the cut.

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