“LOVE AD NAUSEUM,” by Sherri Jacobsen.
Read by Tiffany Peterson. (4 min)

The Times, 5/18/04 A.M. (After Machine) 
SWF, 35, seeks SM 25–50. Must love outdoors, adventure, fun! Box 1876. 

The Times, 7/21/05 A.M. 
SWF, 36, seeks SM 25–50. Must be employed, love outdoor hobbies. No OVERDOSE, ALCOHOLISM, similar readings, please. Box 1876.

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Sherri Jacobsen writes copy for movie marketing by day, and rewrites copy for finicky movie marketing executives by night. This is her first appearance in a publication not bound by staples.

Tiffany Peterson is a stand-up comic, improv teacher for kids, and filmmaker in Venice, CA. She is addicted to tie-dying, and a natural cheerleader for love, peace, and giving hugs.

In the book, “LOVE AD NAUSEUM” is illustrated by Kate Beaton!

“KILLED BY DANIEL,” by Julia Wainwright.
Read by Timothy Volpert. (22 min)

He got the results in April, and his first thought was that he had no idea what to do with them. For a while, he kept the little slip of paper hidden at the back of a desk drawer at work, still inside its official envelope. He didn’t want it in the house — Phil was bound to ferret it out. Phil wouldn’t even have to try, bless him; he was just one of those people who found things. 

He’d thrown away all the other stuff that had been in there, all the leaflets about counselling and help-lines and support groups and whatnot. Everything seemed to be full of leaflets these days. It was like the Sunday papers: you always had to give them a proper shaking over the coffee table before you read them, otherwise hundreds of shiny advertisements would be likely to slither out and attack you.
 
After three weeks, Robin took the slip of paper out of his desk drawer and burnt it in the wastepaper bin.

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Julia Wainwright lives in Suffolk, England, where she writes stuff, makes things, and grows 0.1 percent of her own food. She’s just happy to be here. Julia can be reached at juliacw at ntlworld.com.

Timothy Volpert is a poet and musician from Topeka, Kansas. His latest collection of poetry is Their Memories, Your Orchard OR The Worried Courier and Other Stories.

In the book, “KILLED BY DANIEL” is illustrated by Marcus Parcus. This podcast episode was edited by Matt Schwartz.

“CANCER,” by David Malki !
Read by the author. (34 min)

James had seen the brightly-colored flyer in the mailbox, but hadn’t given it much thought and had thrown it away with the supermarket coupons. So he was surprised to see it later, rescued from the trash can, its glossy color beaming from the fridge beneath a smiley-face magnet.
He plucked it down and had already begun to crumple it when Mom stopped him.

“Doesn’t that look fun?” Mom said. “We’re going to the one next week.”

In garish red and yellow, the flyer announced that You, Too, could “Defeat the Machine!” A colorful cartoon hammer smashed a predictor box, starbursts flying out zanily. A beaming man in a tie beckoned to his new best friend, You. Bright blue type advertised an (800) number. Seats for the seminar were limited.

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David Malki ! is the author of the comic strip “Wondermark”, a gag strip created entirely from 19th-Century woodcuts and engravings, AKA a collaboration with the dead. In 2009, the Wondermark collection Beards of our Forefathers was nominated for the Eisner Award — the highest honor in comics — for “Best Humor Publication.” It’s possible that this was a clerical error. His voice can also be heard on the podcast Tweet Me Harder.

In the book, “CANCER” is illustrated by Danielle Corsetto. This podcast episode was edited by Matt Schwartz.

“SHOT BY SNIPER,” by Bartholomew von Klick.
Read by Christopher Osborn. (9 min)

A shot kicked up dirt in front of Grale’s face. He pulled himself backward, back to the dubious protection of the fallen sign.

A sniper.

Across the street from the fallen billboard, Grale’s men looked at him, pasty-faced and wide-eyed. One of the men — Simmons — signed for him to stay put. No shit.

They all knew Grale would die here. God damn that machine.

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Bartholomew von Klick lives beneath a bridge in Missouri, emerging only to collect a toll from passers-by. He sometimes mutters about all the things he would like to eat, but has not yet been able to kill. He has thirty-six cats, and a beautiful wife who rises from the grave every night to hunt and bring him snacks from the orphanage.

Christopher Osborn is a web developer by day, and asleep by night. He is the author of the short story collection Easily-Distracted Tales and several stageplays, including Lumberknight: The Francophone Protocol.

In the book, “SHOT BY SNIPER” is illustrated by John Keogh. This podcast episode was edited by Matt Schwartz.

“AFTER MANY YEARS, STOPS BREATHING, WHILE ASLEEP, WITH SMILE ON FACE,” by William Grallo. Read by Bradley McLaughlin. (19 min)

“You gotta be fucking kidding me!” says one of Jill’s friends, leaning forward to get a better look at my shirt.

On Toe Tag Night no one wears tags on their toes. What we do is use a template on our PCs and print a graphic of a toe tag, which we then wear attached to our clothing somewhere, like on a t-shirt. The graphic looks like the toe tags you see on dead bodies — or at least on dead bodies in movies — and yes, sometimes people also include a cartoony image of a toe, or a even a whole foot. Often bloody. Printed on the tag is your Name, and How You Are Going to Die.

For mine, I had to use a smaller font size.

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William Grallo is the son of Lou. He was the winner of the Will Inman Award for Poetry and a runner-up for the Ursula K. LeGuin Award for Imaginative Fiction. He has had fiction published in Rosebud magazine and online at alwaysblack.com.

Bradley McLaughlin is a musician and film editor from Seattle. He currently lives in Los Angeles, where he works on feature films.

In the book, “AFTER MANY YEARS, STOPS BREATHING, WHILE ASLEEP, WITH SMILE ON FACE” is illustrated by Scott C. This podcast episode was edited by Matt Schwartz.

At our Talent Show on April 26, 2011, Brad also performed an original song that he wrote based on this story!

Machine of Death Talent Show – Brad McLaughlin from Vimeo.